The results
Mostly A’s — You live for the warm weeks. Watch the timing, not the warmth. If contact arrives right as you’re giving up and stops as soon as you’re back in, that’s not a rhythm, that’s a technique. Notice when the good week starts.
Mostly B’s — Braced for the drop. Braced is exhausting and it’s also observant. Use it: is the cold phase getting shorter over time? Shrinking retreats are someone learning. Identical ones are just a schedule.
Mostly C’s — You go cold first. Going cold first is a message you hope he’ll decode. He won’t. Say the plain version — ‘the quiet weeks are hard for me’ — and watch whether he can hear it without punishing you.
Mostly D’s — You’ve diagnosed him. The question was never whether he’s avoidant. It’s whether he’ll talk about being avoidant. One is a trait you can live alongside; the other is the only thing that makes it workable.