Hot-and-cold is almost always someone with an avoidant pattern doing exactly what that pattern does: getting close, feeling the closeness as pressure, retreating to recover, and then genuinely missing you and coming back. The warmth is real. The retreat is also real. Both are about him.
It is not a game he's running on you, and it's not something you caused by texting too much. You cannot behave your way into someone's consistency.
Watch whether the cold phase gets shorter over time. Shrinking retreats are someone learning. Identical retreats forever are just the shape of the thing.
“i notice this runs hot and cold, and i do better with steady. how do you feel about that?”
“checking in from the cold snap ❄️ everything ok?”
“i can't keep recalibrating to whichever version of you shows up. i need consistency.”
The read above is the general one. Describe what actually happened and I will tell you whether this is the right page — and what the paid decode would do with your details.
Your words are sent to our server and to Claude — the AI behind Tess — which writes the read. Not stored, not linked to you. How this works
Every situation and every quiz on this site is free. Tess’s reads — written around your own words, not everyone’s — are the paid part. iPhone and Android to follow.
Was It Casual is for reflection, not therapy or professional advice.